Latest Reviews
 | The New Zealand Cover Girls in Cape Town About a month ago, Facebook and other such sites were aflutter with the news of an impending Kiwi invasion. We were warned that we would never be able to resist this particular form of assault.. And boy were we unprepared. |
 | The Weekend Warriors: Canadian band that is actually REAL PEOPLE! So it’s a Wednesday night and I had an invite from Wadda, you remember, to come through and listen to something unique to our little Republic of Cape Town. |
 | Them Tornadoes at Speedway Cafe 105 - 12 September A quasi-informative, largely unhinged spiel about psychobilly, angry ramblin’s, and a review of Them Tornadoes. |
 | GODDESS SHIVA – Goddess Shiva Goddess Shiva features some excellent guitar work backed by Matt Sinner’s trade mark voice |
 | 3 LEGGED DOGG - Frozen Summer When a few elite musicians, originating from some of Metal’s finest acts decide to come together |
 | KIKO LOUREIRO - No Gravity Kiko Loureiro is considered one of the most talented musicians |
 | Scar Symmetry’s Pitch Black Progress You know, Swedes are very unique people, their greatest gift being the |
 | Glass Casket: We are gathered here today. Now before I go and give details about this band and its music, let me just tell you something about me first! |
 | Speed metal theory and practice with Lamb of God. Is the new Wrath album too ’textbook’? |
 | Underworld Crimson Kiss This is probably the most drunk I’ve ever written. Thank spelling for Godcheck. |
 | The Purple Turtle’s Re-Launch Finally allowed inside the adult video store. |
 | 80’s for the hell of it Dorothy & Toto go 80’s for the hell of it, and other adventures. |
 | Ministry of Lost Souls, Symphonic Schizophrenia, Strident - 15 August What happens when you mix Crackle Pops and Coke? |
 | School of Heavy Metal 7 August 2009 R.O.A.R. & Mordor |
 | Odian and Marching Dead at Eye of Horus Between buyin’ beers and judging others, we take some time to review Odian and Marching Dead rock out with their proverbial farm animals out at Eye of Horus. |
 | Metal Hamsters run wild Metal show at ROAR featuring 6 heavy bands |
 | Mind Assault DVD Review - F*# voort en Suip baie Imagine a kaalkop slapping the naked ass of a “flapping” flashing sexually disturbed metal-head whilst an un-expecting of the circumstances around him beer bonging drunkard is trying to swallow. Not an unusual scene from the boys of Mind Assault and friends. |
 | The Onion dot Com Phil wastes time at work browsing The Onion - here are his thoughts. |
 | Slayer - Christ Illusion Everybody knows what to expect from a Slayer album: energy, aggression, speed and a violent view of realty. Despite this predictability, or perhaps because of it, Slayer play this kind of music better than anyone I’ve ever heard. |
 | Candlemass - King of Grey Islands Here we are in 2007 with a new CANDLEMASS album after 2 years have passed since the previous one. Already. |
 | Paradise Lost - In Requiem GOOD: beautiful, simplicity, packaging, songwriting BAD: similarity, longevity factor |
 | deviantART Review Save the deviousness of art - save the world! |
 | Metal 4 Africa - Klein Libertas Theatre A gonzo account of a debauched haze of suedo hatred and lust. |
 | Wrought Iron Strange occurances are reported to have uh ... well occured. Ainz reports. |
 | Rock the Bay (2005) An excursion by Phil and crew, with real celebrities an’ all! |
 | Roberson Rocks (2005) 3 Alteye members participate in the deflowering of the sleepy town of Robertson. |
 | Arch Enemy live at the Cardiff Coal Exchange Supported by: Throwdown, Strapping Young Lad |
 | Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Is seeing the kids get older and strangely hotter worth the time it takes to watch it? |
 | Saw A deeply disturbing horror experience, or maybe just another gory yawn fest - find out what Oscar thought. |
 | Acid Alex - by Al Lovejoy Hailed as the greatest intrinsically South African piece of literary work this decade;Acid Alex will have you laughing, cringing, and crying all in the space of one super smooth chapter. |
 | Mind Assault: Social Engineering Until now I have only ever seen Mind Assault as a live band, never been able to compare their gigs to studio work, and have never been disappointed... |
 | Neil Gaiman There’s something cathartically profound in the absolute desecration of one’s physical body and surroundings in order to feed the mental hunger to complete a superior book. Authors experience it all through the birthing process, the missed meals and showers culminating in a truly horrific picture of a human being. |
 | Neverwhere Neverwhere is a general must read, yet it is even more prominently so if you have ever lived in or visited London . The story subverts the dreary grey and green that is London into the darkest shade of black and bloody splattered red that is Gaiman’s underworld. |
 | The Sandman Series The Sandman was an industry redefining graphic novel series, created in ’89 it ran through the 90’s -era of grunge, cybersex and Jay and Silent Bob. |
 | The Wolves in the Walls I know most of our readers will have absolutely no intention of browsing the kiddie’s picture book shelves at their closest Exclusive Books; you would, however, be surprised at the macabre and depraved things children find amusing. I would think Roald Dahl would be the point and case. |
 | A Very Long Engagement I should have known by the title that this would be a long movie. Sometimes that most obvious things are right in front of your face but choose to ignore them because you so badly want to like a movie. A Very Long Engagement is not a bad movie, its just that its too long...waaaay too long. |
![sea_inside_215[1].jpg](../images/sea_inside_215[1].jpg) | The Sea Inside It must be really difficult to make a movie about euthanasia without making it really depressing. Before watching this movie I read reviews that said it was an uplifting movie, I’m not sure that I agree. |
 | PI Let me start off stating that I admire Darren Aranofsky’s work. I think he is one of the best directors working today. The problem is that he has only made two movies so far and must still prove his longevity. His track record is admirable and the quality of his movies increase each time. Pi was is first major feature and is an astounding piece of work, though not perfect. |
 | MITSOO - WHO? Due to my ever growing intrigue towards babes and machinery, I quickly signed myself and photographer Ainz up for a night of canned black labels and something poles apart. |
 | Hoer and Remoer rock Woodstock 7 with their cocks out. Two Cape Tonian metal head hillbillies - Hoer & Remoer - found themselves on drunken binge at Woodstock 7. Here are their findings. |
 | Joss Whedon’s Fray As a long time fan of the Buffy and Angel series I waited a hell of a long time to get my hands on this. |
 | Superheroes can suck my cock! When will the madness stop?! I thought that Catwoman would have made the rest of Hollywood a little bit more cautious when it comes to superhero movies. It seems that every week there is a new superhero movie showing. Soon there will be no more good superheroes left and will get the lesser known heroes like Cattleman and Cleaning Lady! Oh the pain... |
 | BLOOD MOON: The Wedding of Kurt and Maree August celebrated the marriage of two of Cape Town Alternative scenes most charming creatures and proud supporters, Kurt and Maree, with an eccentric wedding at Oude Molen Village. Fair enough; there were rings, an alter, and an isle or sorts. But throw in some leather. Slit and drip in an ounce of metal. Cast a little spell. And you have Blood Moon: spelt in a similar vein to Shock Therapy, but less of a theme party - and more of a dark affair. |
 | Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events I just didn’t get it. Maybe I fell asleep or maybe I’m just not intellectual enough (note my sarcasm) but there just doesn’t seem to be much to this movie. Sure it looks pretty, there is some good acting (from Meryl Streep as usual) but that is where it ends. The title should rather have been a ’series of random events. |
 | Shadowfall From the writer of the magnificent wit’ch quintet comes the equally gripping new series Shadowfall. Tylar de Noche was a shadow knight before his disgrace, and now he haunts disreputable places as a mere crippled shadow of his former self. |
 | Dan Who? Jo gives us the darker side of Dan Brown, the evolution of the book page, and whats to come. |
 | Bus Assault In the sequel to the ear shattering terror and shock rocking adventures of the first Worcester Bus, Alteye’s two less than capable journalists - Ainz and Ant- were there to record the events of that fateful night. |
 | The Diary of Ayns: Worcester Bus 1 A diary of a man who felt the twisted terror of the first Mind Assault bus... |
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