http://www.alteye.co.za/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:39:04 +0200 en About a month ago, Facebook and other such sites were aflutter with the news of an impending Kiwi invasion. We were warned that we would never be able to resist this particular form of assault.. And boy were we unprepared. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-new-zealand-cover-girls-in-cape-town So it’s a Wednesday night and I had an invite from Wadda, you remember, to come through and listen to something unique to our little Republic of Cape Town. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-weekend-warriors-canadian-band-that-is-actually-real-people A quasi-informative, largely unhinged spiel about psychobilly, angry ramblins, and a review of Them Tornadoes. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/them-tornadoes-at-speedway-cafe-105-12-september When good things happen to quiet people and why you should be excited http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/celludroid-sci-fi-anime-fantasy-film-festival Goddess Shiva features some excellent guitar work backed by Matt Sinners trade mark voice http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/goddess-shiva-goddess-shiva When a few elite musicians, originating from some of Metals finest acts decide to come together http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/3-legged-dogg-frozen-summer Kiko Loureiro is considered one of the most talented musicians http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/kiko-loureiro-no-gravity A Crazy World http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/come-taste-the-band-vol5-scorpions-part-iii Scorpions conquor North America http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/come-taste-the-band-vol5-scorpions-part-ii Early Beginnings http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/come-taste-the-band-vol5-scorpions-part-i You know, Swedes are very unique people, their greatest gift being the http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/scar-symmetrys-pitch-black-progress Complete Caption and Win http://www.alteye.co.za/competitions/glass-casket-cd Now before I go and give details about this band and its music, let me just tell you something about me first! http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/glass-casket-we-are-gathered-here-today Is the new Wrath album too textbook? http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/speed-metal-theory-and-practice-with-lamb-of-god This is probably the most drunk Ive ever written. Thank spelling for Godcheck. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/underworld-crimson-kiss Finally allowed inside the adult video store. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-purple-turtles-re-launch Polyamory, the possibility of being in romantically loving (Eros) relationships with more than one person at any given time. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/polyamory-my-story The legendary Purple Turtle is back in serious action http://www.alteye.co.za/news/legendary-purple-turtle-relaunches A week of horror on the big scream! http://www.alteye.co.za/news/south-african-horrorfest-film-festival Flamedrop will be hosting a Film Festival at The Labia on Kloof Street! http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/south-africas-first-scifi-fantasy-anime-film-festival Continuing its tradition of creating innovative and exciting events never before attempted in South Africa, CELLUDROID is the latest Flamedrop and Shadow Realm film festival, setting out to pull together (for the very first time) a range of Science-Fiction, Anime and Fantasy movies. Classic and new movies have been sought and packed into one explosive weekend across 28-30 August. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/c-e-l-l-u-d-r-o-i-d-film-festival Dorothy and Toto go 80s for the hell of it, and other adventures. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/80s-for-the-hell-of-it The promo clip for Symphonic Schizophrenia, the third band to go through to the semi-finals, has been uploaded to the Eye of Metal group. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/symphonic-schizophrenia-video-online My top 5 [adult swim] shows with info on Metalocalypse and more! http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/adult-swim-and-metalocalypse What happens when you mix Crackle Pops and Coke? http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/ministry-of-lost-souls-symphonic-schizophrenia-strident-15-august R.O.A.R. and Mordor http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/school-of-heavy-metal-7-august-2009 Between buyin beers and judging others, we take some time to review Odian and Marching Dead rock out with their proverbial farm animals out at Eye of Horus. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/odian-and-marching-dead-at-eye-of-horus Metal show at ROAR featuring 6 heavy bands http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/metal-hamsters-run-wild It is with a heavy heart that we have to inform you that Barry Drewett, front man and vocalist for Contrast The Water, was brutally attacked and robbed on Monday 13 July 2009. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/contrast-the-water-vocalist-hospitilised-after-attack-and-robbery We pick at Artur Pereiras brain about the gentle art of making tribute shows . http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/faith-no-more-tribute-show-we-care-alot FLAMEDROP PRODUCTIONS and the South African HORRORFEST present: the NOSFERATU live soundtrack performance at OPPI KOPPI (7-9 August). http://www.alteye.co.za/news/terminatryx-nosferatu-live-movie-soundtrack-performance-dvd-launch Since its humble beginnings by a dedicated group of individuals adamant to create a festival of Horror on South African soil (and not deterred by the rare sponsorship backing options), the S.A. HORRORFEST has grown systematically and from strength-to-strength. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/south-african-horrorfest-film-festival-2009 Hello peeps. Here we are asking some questions to Mr. Hatemonger himself, Bryan Viljoen. Firstly for those of you old enough to remember, Id like to state that he has no affiliation to the former SADF general sharing the same surname (I think). http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/ing-interview Imagine a kaalkop slapping the naked ass of a “flapping” flashing sexually disturbed metal-head whilst an un-expecting of the circumstances around him beer bonging drunkard is trying to swallow. Not an unusual scene from the boys of Mind Assault and friends. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/mind-assault-dvd-review-f-voort-en-suip-baie Phil wastes time at work browsing The Onion - here are his thoughts. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-onion-dot-com Shred Connoisseur, Clayton Arendse, highlights whats new on the CD shelves. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/new-on-the-shelves Everybody knows what to expect from a Slayer album: energy, aggression, speed and a violent view of realty. Despite this predictability, or perhaps because of it, Slayer play this kind of music better than anyone Ive ever heard. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/slayer-christ-illusion Here we are in 2007 with a new CANDLEMASS album after 2 years have passed since the previous one. Already. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/candlemass-king-of-grey-islands GOOD: beautiful, simplicity, packaging, songwriting BAD: similarity, longevity factor http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/paradise-lost-in-requiem Save the deviousness of art - save the world! http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/deviantart-review Ameer expresses his views on the coloured rock band member and their role in a predominantly white scene. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-musical-other Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, and Iggy Pop team up in the forthcoming indie vampire flick ‘Suck, alongside Malcolm McDowell (Halloween) and Jessica Pare. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/alice-cooper-iggy-pop-to-appear-in-vampire-film Before the new album release in late August (probably a bit later in SA) this year, Fans (or non fans for that matter) will be privy to the bands advance single: “Evil Ways”. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/obituary-prelude-single-to-be-released The founder of Atlantic Records, Ahmet Ertegun died tragically late last year after being in a long coma that was the result of a nasty fall at a Rolling Stones shindig. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/led-zepplin-rock-gods-got-something-up-their-sleeves After a lengthy letter, detailing the sob story of guitarist Peter Lindgren, addressed to his band mates and fans, the 16 year Opeth guitarist has resigned his post for good. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/opeth-guitarist-packs-it-in Ministry are to release their final studio album, “The Last Sucker” (note their signature biblical reference) in mid September this year. http://www.alteye.co.za/news/ministrys-latest-and-final-album A gonzo account of a debauched haze of suedo hatred and lust. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/metal-4-africa-klein-libertas-theatre Strange occurances are reported to have uh ... well occured. Ainz reports. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/wrought-iron An excursion by Phil and crew, with real celebrities an all! http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/rock-the-bay-2005 3 Alteye members participate in the deflowering of the sleepy town of Robertson. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/roberson-rocks-2005 Supported by: Throwdown, Strapping Young Lad http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/arch-enemy-live-at-the-cardiff-coal-exchange Is seeing the kids get older and strangely hotter worth the time it takes to watch it? http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/harry-potter-and-the-goblet-of-fire A deeply disturbing horror experience, or maybe just another gory yawn fest - find out what Oscar thought. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/saw From a man who wrote his thesis on Buffy, this rant is just a little food for thought. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/cult-television Hailed as the greatest intrinsically South African piece of literary work this decade;Acid Alex will have you laughing, cringing, and crying all in the space of one super smooth chapter. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/acid-alex-by-al-lovejoy We managed to track down artist and Reiko creator Vincent Grisanti who graciously answered a couple of our questions. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/meet-reiko “A game that should be enjoyed by all ” - Michael Cane, PROFFESSOR OF TITOLOGY http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/conebat Fred pokes a spoon into the cranial cavity of a member of Swedish stoner rock slash doom metal (or not) band Witchcraft, and serves you a generous scooping. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/witchcraft-interview After a long and tormenting drive along Baden Powel Drive, Alternative Eyes two less than capable journalists - Ainz and Ant - went to visit Mind Assault at their Strand computer-shop / jam room for some beers, an interview and a private lap dance. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/mind-assault-interview Until now I have only ever seen Mind Assault as a live band, never been able to compare their gigs to studio work, and have never been disappointed... http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/mind-assault-social-engineering Also known as urban running - an innovative lesson in the art of movement. Check out our exclusive interview with two of SAs most pro active supporters of the sport. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/parkour Our philosophy guru makes another appearance. T shows us that less can definitely be more. Itll take only a minute of your time but will leave you pondering for ages. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/illusion Greetings citizens of the world! I should apologise for not writing sooner, but thats not my style, so I wont. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/leader-of-the-free-worlds-website-of-the-week Theres something cathartically profound in the absolute desecration of ones physical body and surroundings in order to feed the mental hunger to complete a superior book. Authors experience it all through the birthing process, the missed meals and showers culminating in a truly horrific picture of a human being. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/neil-gaiman Neverwhere is a general must read, yet it is even more prominently so if you have ever lived in or visited London . The story subverts the dreary grey and green that is London into the darkest shade of black and bloody splattered red that is Gaimans underworld. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/neverwhere The Sandman was an industry redefining graphic novel series, created in 89 it ran through the 90s -era of grunge, cybersex and Jay and Silent Bob. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-sandman-series I know most of our readers will have absolutely no intention of browsing the kiddies picture book shelves at their closest Exclusive Books; you would, however, be surprised at the macabre and depraved things children find amusing. I would think Roald Dahl would be the point and case. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-wolves-in-the-walls I should have known by the title that this would be a long movie. Sometimes that most obvious things are right in front of your face but choose to ignore them because you so badly want to like a movie. A Very Long Engagement is not a bad movie, its just that its too long...waaaay too long. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/a-very-long-engagement It must be really difficult to make a movie about euthanasia without making it really depressing. Before watching this movie I read reviews that said it was an uplifting movie, Im not sure that I agree. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-sea-inside Let me start off stating that I admire Darren Aranofskys work. I think he is one of the best directors working today. The problem is that he has only made two movies so far and must still prove his longevity. His track record is admirable and the quality of his movies increase each time. Pi was is first major feature and is an astounding piece of work, though not perfect. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/pi Due to my ever growing intrigue towards babes and machinery, I quickly signed myself and photographer Ainz up for a night of canned black labels and something poles apart. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/mitsoo-who Two Cape Tonian metal head hillbillies - Hoer and Remoer - found themselves on drunken binge at Woodstock 7. Here are their findings. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/hoer-and-remoer-rock-woodstock-7-with-their-cocks-out As a long time fan of the Buffy and Angel series I waited a hell of a long time to get my hands on this. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/joss-whedons-fray Howdy folks, thanks for joining me on this, my first explration into web journalism. You may ask how I find the time to build an ppreciation for the ininnet, with my busy schedule, fighting trrrrism and dodging criticism. Well. truth be told I sometimes goof off at work and do a bit of the web surfing. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/leader-of-the-free-world-stunt-kid Imagine chomping away at a delicious bowl of fast-food from a well known fast-food chain, and suddenly biting into something a little more meaty than your meal should contain. On closer inspection you realise this meaty object is sporting a fingernail. How bout munching on some spectacularly fried chicken nuggets and discovering a nugget that looks suspiciously similar to a nugetised chicken head. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/urban-food When will the madness stop?! I thought that Catwoman would have made the rest of Hollywood a little bit more cautious when it comes to superhero movies. It seems that every week there is a new superhero movie showing. Soon there will be no more good superheroes left and will get the lesser known heroes like Cattleman and Cleaning Lady! Oh the pain... http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/superheroes-can-suck-my-cock August celebrated the marriage of two of Cape Town Alternative scenes most charming creatures and proud supporters, Kurt and Maree, with an eccentric wedding at Oude Molen Village. Fair enough; there were rings, an alter, and an isle or sorts. But throw in some leather. Slit and drip in an ounce of metal. Cast a little spell. And you have Blood Moon: spelt in a similar vein to Shock Therapy, but less of a theme party - and more of a dark affair. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/blood-moon-the-wedding-of-kurt-and-maree People can say what they like, but the renaissance of Cape Town s alternative music scene would not have been possible without one bald headed, rug-sack bearing freak in particular: Andy Hawes of Parow. Hes 32; he lives with his parents; he has a game boy advanced; but make no mistake, hes our very own William Wallace. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/andy-a-breath-of-fresh-air I just didnt get it. Maybe I fell asleep or maybe Im just not intellectual enough (note my sarcasm) but there just doesnt seem to be much to this movie. Sure it looks pretty, there is some good acting (from Meryl Streep as usual) but that is where it ends. The title should rather have been a series of random events. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/lemony-snickets-a-series-of-unfortunate-events This kind of sat at the bottom of my pile until I had absolutely no choice but to crack its spine and examine the universe of bitches, 9mms and righteous anger barely contained between its covers. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/eminem-in-my-skin From the writer of the magnificent witch quintet comes the equally gripping new series Shadowfall. Tylar de Noche was a shadow knight before his disgrace, and now he haunts disreputable places as a mere crippled shadow of his former self. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/shadowfall This weeks featured artist is Seth from Blouberg, with his awesome sci-fi works. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/obsolete-angel Ant gives us a snippet into chili loving, the backwards hangover, and crazy mexicans... http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/red-hot-warning Jo gives us the darker side of Dan Brown, the evolution of the book page, and whats to come. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/dan-who Troy, our resident philosopher, gives us insight into the God problem... http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/god-of-philosophy The Most Honest Reviewer You Will Ever Know...No Really! http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-cinematic-ramblings-of-oscar-greenwald In the sequel to the ear shattering terror and shock rocking adventures of the first Worcester Bus, Alteyes two less than capable journalists - Ainz and Ant- were there to record the events of that fateful night. http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/bus-assault A diary of a man who felt the twisted terror of the first Mind Assault bus... http://www.alteye.co.za/articles/the-diary-of-ayns-worcester-bus-1