Hoer and Remoer rock Woodstock 7 with their cocks out.

Posted 2005-11-07 @ 02:33:57 In articles > reviews

Two Cape Tonian metal head hillbillies - Hoer & Remoer - found themselves on drunken binge at Woodstock 7. Here are their findings.

After a most crazy flight, due to the amount of alcohol which was induced, and an evening in Benoni, we set off for Woodstock 7.

Negotiating our way through East Rand Mall to get tickets and all the necessary supplies to ensure a good fest, gave us our first taste of life in the north. The trip to the venue was most interesting in its own right. We got hopelessly lost (about 20 fucking times, I kid you not) and fighting peak hour traffic was not a pretty sight. We also discovered a place called Erasmia (they will be getting Coca Cola next month and hopefully T.V will follow soon).

We arrived at sunset on the Thursday evening and found a cool spot to camp.under a thorn tree, on a couple of rocks. We pitched tent and headed off into the night accompanied by Uncle Jack and as many frosties as our bag could hold. "Rock out with you cock out!" became our war cry for the three days of mayhem which followed. Hoer got lost along the way, truly living up to his name and chatting up girls left, right and centre. He was later stumbled upon by a drunken mob led by Remoer - by pure chance. Once Hoer & Remoer were re-united, they proceeded to get horribly drunk. Remoer assisted a fellow female festival goer in retrieving her sweets and slippers from a shallow ditch and in the process displayed great ditch diving skills. The rest of the night was a blur and its anybody’s guess what happened after the ditch diving incident.

On the way to the medics the next morning (to repair Remoer’s hands), we tried to piece together the events of the night before, but failed miserably. We nursed our hangovers with more booze and chilled by the pool during the heat of the day and succumbing to some pretty serious herb! The music at the pool was a bunch of electronic shit. However, the amount of woman in bikini’s made up for it. The main stage, hosted by Musica, had a pretty cool line-up on the Friday and the Blunt stage was not to be outdone either.

According to Remoer, the first band he recalls seeing on the Friday was Reason To Live. They are a hardcore band from Benoni, and recently played with Most Precious Blood on their S.A. Tour. Reason To Live were pretty cool and enjoyable to watch. Next up, on the main stage, we saw Fuzigish. They were awesome and the ground was singing along to most of the tracks the even had to stop the title track from the new album "Exploited and distorted" due to a crazy mosh pit. Lot ’s of people were singing along to most the songs and the funnels the trumpet player was doing from the stage went down a treat.

We hooked-up with some friends from Cape Town and Jo’burg and proceeded getting mashed (once again). Wickhead had an awesome show! The sound was huge and the display of melodic vocal lines along with the aggressive screaming which complemented there very bottom end guitar sound went down well. We heard echo’s of that "Here comes the man" song from the Parletones from the Cool Runnings tent but we were too busy cheering one of our mates on as he climbed his way to the top of the tent.. actually we were waiting to see if he fell half way. Tweak got bottled...not too surprising. What did surprise us though was that they threatened all who were throwing bottles to come back stage (we didn’t go.shame). Inersha (another hardcore band from up north) was also pretty decent, although by now my judgement could have been well affected by the booze. It was rather annoying watching a hoard of "metal" bands playing that all sounded very similar. The Nu-Metal flavour was getting rather old very quickly.

The Slashdogs were quite awesome, although by now Stage 2 (Blunt Stage) [which is situated in a tent], was getting very dusty and made breathing difficult. The play a very raw rock and roll type punk. All the musicians are very talented and we jumped around until our noses were clogged by all the dust stage 2 was famous for. Pestroy closed the night off on the main stage, but once again the Nu-Mental sounds spoilt it a bit.

Vetkoek with chicken mayo & cheese kept us going through the drunked debauchery that continued and we also discovered the best home made pies since God created Adam and Eve. We partied till late and passed out quite quickly in our lovely tent. Thank God for mattresses.

On Saturday the bands started at 12:00 already and we were ready again to see what Woodstock had to offer. With the old bag loaded to the brim with booze, we set out into a blistering hot day tuning everybody, who would listen, to "Rock Out With Your Cock Out". Grindrod Muse from Durban was pretty impressive. At least they played some decent metal! Jack & Coke, Vodka & OJ, and some beers were flowing steadily. We were meeting loads of people from all over and making loads of friends. The general vibe at Woodstock was really amazing. There were loads of merchandise stalls too -great for browsing when the bands were too KAK and not worthy of our attention. Ha-ha.

By chance we saw one song by Mel-Funktion. What a load of toss! A chick doing seductive poses whilst singing, accompanied by 3 or 4 male musicians. She would have sounded better with a mic stuck up her arse! To me (Remoer) Plum was the surprise of Woodstock 7 and the dust in the stage 2 tent didn’t matter one bit. The fact that we were rocking out to them with a bottle of Jack going round really did the trick. Wow! Hoer knows The Construct pretty well and we partied with them for a while. When I saw them perform live, I was a bit dumbfounded. I’ve never heard anything like it, but I must add that their style isn’t really what I would call "recommended listening". Since all the metal bands more or less similar, I thought that, at least, Neshamah would be worth watching. Surprise, surprise.they never pitched - A no show! Enough said.

We spotted Barney Simon backstage and marched straight past security like we owned the place. It worked! We bombarded the "old man" with all sorts of questions (how did dinosaurs really die? Etc) and offered him some of our concocted brews. Always happy to chat about music, old Barney deserves lot’s of respect. The man Rock!

I’ve heard a lot about Rhutz and was quite excited to see them, but, to be honest, the Nu-Metal thing died on the Friday already. Woodstock caters for quite a commercial crowd. There was sadly not one decent metal band in my opinion. Once again we partied till late and eventually passed out in our rocky empire.

Sunday we rose early (why, oh why) to beat the rush of traffic leaving Woodstock . Hoer puked his guts out (standard festival procedures) and amazingly we didn’t get lost once on the way back. Bargain!!


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Hoer and Remoer rock Woodstock 7 with their cocks out.
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